Fondness
by nightskythoughts
Summary: After the traumatic events of the day, Olivia gets a late night visitor. Post-ep Townhouse Incident
1. Chapter 1

All Olivia wanted to do was forget the events of the day. There are many days that she would like to completely forget, ones that turned out much worse than this one had. But this day just happened. It's fresh. Today. She was threatened, today. She was hit, multiple times, today. She had a gun to her head, today. She could have died today.

The knock on her door was soft, she barely heard it over her thoughts.

'It's midnight' she thought, hand immediately going to her hip reaching for the gun that was currently in evidence lock-up.

"Who is it?" She asked through the door.

A pause and then "Tucker." was the quiet and succinct reply.

Olivia opened the door and was met by blue and somewhat troubled eyes.

"I'm sorry it's late, I just…" he stopped speaking. Tucker looked like he didn't have the words or the strength to finish that sentence. Neither spoke, until seconds later Olivia opened the door completely and stepped back.

"It's okay, I wasn't close to sleeping." She said over her shoulder as she walked into the kitchen. Tucker took a deep breath and crossed the threshold.

Turning away from her, he closed the door and asked "How are you?" A soft chuckle was the only reply he received. He took a deep breath and shrugged off his heavy jacket, hanging it on the coatrack next to the door.

"Would you like a drink Tucker?" Olivia asked.  
"What are you drinking?" he shot back.  
"Wine. Red."  
"Sounds good."

Olivia busied herself with pouring another glass for her unexpected guest. She had been reliving the events of the day, trying to relax and remind herself that she made it. She's been going over her decisions throughout the day, verifying that her decisions were good and that everything worked out in the end. _Worked out, right. I still ended the day with blood on my clothes.  
_  
When she walked back to the living room, Tucker was sitting on the couch looking at home but not at ease.

"Thanks." he said as he took his glass from her hand. Olivia sat down next to him on the couch and took a drink from her glass. "I've been thinking."

"Don't hurt yourself _Captain_." she joked, but the smile didn't reach her eyes.

His eyes met hers, seriously he replied "I've been trained on hostage situations, even been in a few over the years. This one was different." Again, the weary cop seemed at a loss for words.

Olivia looked away, taking another drink from her glass. "I don't know what you want me to say Tucker."

"I'm not sure I know what I want you to say." He sat his wine down on the table and put his head in his hands. "I don't know if I can do this."

She turned her body towards his, bringing her knee onto the couch "Do what?"

"This. It doesn't…" he trailed off as he raised his head and looked around the living room. His eyes scanned the pictures, scattered toys, her shoes in the corner. "How's the kid?"

A genuine smile graced Olivia's face "He's fine. Good. A little confused as to why his Momma wouldn't put him down all night." She took another sip and then placed her glass next to his. "Sometimes I think he's helping me more than I'm helping him."

Tucker flashed her a small smile and then relaxed back into the couch. "I meant what I said today. You did great out there."

"Thanks. I meant it when I said 'thank you' too." she mimicked his positioning, leaning back into the couch facing him.

Tucker looked down, swallowed hard, and then quickly asked "Why did Joe ask for me?"

"I told him to." Olivia answered, looking down at her leg on the couch.

"Why?"

"I don't know. Maybe I wanted to check that you didn't lose your edge after your promotion."

"Olivia." he said, lowering his head trying to meet her eyes. "Why?"

"Honestly, I'm not sure. Lately, you've done right by my squad," she looked up, meeting his eyes "and me. When he asked if anyone cared if I lived through this, if I knew someone high ranking in the NYPD, I thought of you." She gave a half-smile, which he reciprocated. Olivia put her foot back on the floor, reaching for her glass. Tucker picked up his and the two drank in silence for a minute.

"How are you?" He asked again, hoping to get a reply this time.

"I'm alright. I'm safe," she took a sip "the family is safe." Tucker nodded. "And now, my son is asleep and I'm drinking wine with you, so the day hasn't turned out too horrible." She smiled.

Tucker chuckled. Turning his body towards hers, he said "I'm glad you're okay."

"Thank you Tucker."

"You _can_ call me Ed, you know. We are sort-of friends right?"

Smiling she replied "Yes. You could classify us as friends." He smiled back. _He has a nice smile. Huh,_ _I've seen this man smile more tonight than I have the whole time we've known each other._ They finished their wine in silence, listening to the faint city sounds cutting through the quiet night.

"Well, I should be going." Tucker said, standing from the couch. He took the empty wine glass from her hands and walked into the kitchen. Olivia stood from the couch and watched him place the glasses in the sink as she stretched her tired arms above her head. Tucker walked back passed her towards the door.

"Thanks for coming by, Ed." She said as she followed him.

He grabbed his coat from the stand and said "Of course, and thank _you_ for the wine." After putting on his jacket, he turned back to her and met her gaze. She stared back into the eyes of this man that she met over a decade ago but only recently began to know. He smiled and, unsure if their newfound friendship included any kind of intimacy, he moved his arms slightly away from his sides. Olivia returned his smile and moved into his arms.

As they hugged he whispered "Goodnight Olivia."

Pulling out of the hug, she looked into his eyes and said "Goodnight Ed. Thank you, really. For everything today" 

He nodded with a small smile and turned towards the door reaching for the knob, "I do, you know."

Olivia cocked her head at the man's back "What?"

He turned back slightly to look at her with one hand still on the doorknob, "Care if you live or not. I do care." Not knowing how to respond to that, she smiled and placed her hand on his shoulder. "I just wanted to make sure that you knew. It does matter - to me." They looked at each other, fondness in both sets of eyes.

"Thank you." She replied, lowering her hand from his shoulder to his bicep. "That goes both ways." She gave his arm a squeeze and then let her arm drop to her side.

"Thanks. Well, goodnight."

"Goodnight. Get home safe."

With one last smile, he turned back around opening the door and leaving the apartment, quietly closing the door behind him.

Alone once again, Olivia replayed the last 30 minutes over in her head. _Why was he the first one I thought of? Sure, he's a Captain now but I could've asked for another NYPD official._  
She sat back down on the couch, leaning against the armrest and placing her feet in the place he vacated minutes earlier. _I'm glad he stopped by._


	2. Chapter 2

Olivia only took two days off after the incident at the townhouse. She knew she could trust Dodds to keep the squad running smoothly, but she only took enough time to meet with a NYPD psychiatrist and get cleared to go back to work.

The knock on her office door pulled her attention away from her computer screen.

"Fin, what's up?"

"Nothing Liv, just didn't expect to see you in already." He said leaning into the office.

"I'm fine. Good morning by the way." She smirked at him

Fin entered the office and shut the door behind him. Coming to sit at the seat opposite Olivia, he  
lowered his voice "Liv, no one would think less of you if you took more than a few days off."

Meeting his eyes Olivia replied "I know Fin, but really I'm okay."

"You sure?"

Her glare was enough of a response.

"Alright, alright. Well I'll be-" he pointed behind him as he stood up "-out there. Doing paperwork."

"Thanks Fin." She smiled.

As Fin opened the door and went back to his desk Olivia's eyes went back to her computer. However, her attention didn't. _This paperwork is done and it's only 8:30. Maybe I didn't need to do this during my days off._

Just then her phone vibrated on the desk. _Ugh, let's see what this is about._

Olivia's dread of catching a new case fell away once she got a look at her phone. A different sense of dread filled her immediately, one that came from years of dealing with IAB.

*TEXT MESSAGE* - Tucker, Ed

 _What now?_

"Good morning Lieutenant. What date were you thinking of coming back to work?" - the text read.

 _Oh good, none of my detectives managed to ruffle feathers during my 2-day hiatus._

**KNOCK KNOCK**

"Hey Lieutenant, nice to see you back!" Carisi greeted her, hanging onto the side of the doorframe.

"Good morning Carisi. Nice to be back."

"I brought cannoli. They're at my desk if you want one."

"Thanks. I'll grab one in a bit." She smiled. He returned the smile, rapped his knuckle on the door and headed back to his desk.

Olivia chuckled to herself and then looked back at her phone. _What date was I thinking of coming back to work? Ha._

"You're message is a day late Tucker. I've been at work for an hour and a half now." She sent back to him.

His reply was almost instantaneous. "2 days? Benson, really?"

She smiled. "I've been cleared. You going to send someone from your squad to double check?"

"No. Was thinking I'd do the honor myself. Lunch?"

Olivia cocked her head to the side, re-reading the text.

 _Uh, sure._ "Sure. When?"

"Noon. I have to pick up some paperwork from homicide. I'll come by your office and get you."

 _Okaaaaaay. "_ Okay. Sounds good."

Olivia put her cell back down on the desk. _Maybe we are friends now? It might be nice having a friend on IAB._ She felt immediately ashamed, turning an olive branch into a link she could use to her own advantage.

"Lieutenant! Come get a cannoli before these guys eat 'em all!" Carisi shouted.

Olivia walked out and saw Fin and Dodds with a cannoli in each hand. Laughing at her officers, she reached into the box grabbing one of the remaining three.

The morning passed uneventfully, with everyone catching up with paperwork. Carisi was putting on his jacket to head over to 1 Hogan Place when Captain Tucker walked into the precinct.

"Captain, something we can do for you?" Carisi asked the older man. At his sentence Dodds and Fin both looked up from their computers. Fin immediately looked back down, while Dodds stood up and moved to where the two men were standing.

"No, Detective. I'm just here to see your Lieutenant." Tucker replied. "Dodds." he nodded at the new addition. With that, he walked the rest of the way to Olivia's office and knocked on the doorframe.

"Lieutenant, you ready?"

"Tucker, hey. Yeah, just let me save this." She typed for a few more seconds and then closed her computer. Tucker grabbed her jacket off the rack by the door and handed it to her as she walked towards him. "Thanks."

Tucker nodded in reply. The two left her office and Olivia stopped by Dodds who was leaning against his desk reading over a witness statement.

"Dodds, I'm heading out to lunch. Hold the fort?"

"Sure thing."

Turning to Fin she said "Fin, you almost done with your search paperwork."

"Yeah, should be done in less than an hour."

"Awesome. Just set it on my desk if I'm not back." She replied. Looking around for her other detective, she asked the room. "Where's Carisi?"

Fin replied, leaning back in his chair "Pre-trial prep with Barba."

"That's right. Well I'll see you guys when I get back."

After receiving non-committal 'goodbyes' from her squad, she followed Tucker out of the precinct.

Dodds walked over to Fin's desk and waited for Fin to look up. "Yes?"

"What's IAB want with Benson?"

"They probably just want to make sure she's cleared and ready to be back."

Dodds seemed appeased for a moment and then "Wouldn't they send a normal agent, or even just another Lieutenant?"

"Dodds…" Fin sighed "Who knows? Sometimes it's better not to ask questions man."

Olivia and Tucker walked in silence out of the building and out on to the street.

"So, where are we going Tucker?"

"I was thinking Italian. That work for you?"

"Of course."

As they walked to the restaurant, they made a little chit chat about the recent cold front. When they arrived at the little Italian restaurant, they were sat at a booth toward the back of the restaurant. It wasn't busy for lunch on a weekday.

"So Tucker, what do you need me to say for you to clear me. I passed my psych eval and I'm really fine with what happened."

"As far as I'm concerned, you're cleared." He said just as their server came up to the table.

"Good afternoon guys, do you know what you'd like to drink."

Olivia still a little surprised from his answer didn't immediately respond. So Tucker took the initiative and ordered "We'll have two cokes please." Turning to Olivia he said "That okay?"

"Yeah, sure." Finally looking at the server, she smiled. "Thank you."

When she walked away, Olivia turned back to him. "What's this about then Tucker? Did something happen while I was off duty?"

"I thought you were going to call me Ed?" he replied.

She gave him a half-smile and started again, "Ed. What's going on?"

The server returned with their cokes and asked if they were ready to order.

"I'll just have a Chicken Caesar Salad please" Olivia replied without looking at her menu.

"Okay, and for you Sir?" the server turned to Tucker.

"I'll have the same. Thank you." and with that the server walked away.

Olivia kept looking at him, but he kept his eyes down and took a drink.

"Look. I just wanted to make sure you were alright" he took a deep breath, "as a friend."

He finally met her eyes and she smiled at him. "Jesus Ed. Just say that next time and don't make me think that we're going to go at it over my squad."

He returned her smile and said "Sorry. I didn't think you would automatically think that. I guess I deserve that reaction."

"Maybe you did. But, like you said, we're friends now." Olivia unwrapped her straw and took a sip of her soda.

"So, _as a friend_ , how are you?" he asked.

"I'm good." He leveled his eyes at her "Honestly! I'm good. I had two days off. I got cleared by psych and got to spend the rest of the time with Noah. It was a nice little break. Don't get me wrong, I'm still upset about the event, but no more so than any other incident."

"Good. You've been through enough." he replied. She looked at him and his eyes seemed genuinely concerned.

"Ed, you don't need to worry about me." she said seriously.

"I know that Benson. But you've been through so much and-" he paused to take a deep breath "-and I know that you probably hate that I know more than friend would about everything. But I can't help that, it's my _job_."

Olivia sighed, realizing that he _did_ know about everything. _I never really thought about that._ He knew about the incident 3 days ago. He knew about William Lewis. He knew about Lowell Harris. He knew about Elliot. He knew everything about her professional life.

She nodded at him. They sat in silence for a minute until the server brought their salads. When she left the table, Olivia turned to Tucker and said "If you're Ed, I'm Olivia."

He looked up and said "Alright, Olivia. Eat. I don't have all day to hang around with you."

They smiled and started to eat. The rest of the meal was lighter in conversation. They talked about Noah, about the Mets, about Dodds fitting in to the squad. Before they knew it, they were both full and he was asking for the check. When it arrived he had his card ready and handed it to the server.

"Before you say anything, I asked. You can get it next time." He said to Olivia, when she started to shake her head.

"Alright, fine. Next time." She smiled.

He signed the receipt and then they were heading out of the restaurant.

Buttoning their coats once outside, she turned to him, "This was nice."

"Surprised? I'm not horrible company all the time Olivia."

"I didn't say that."

"You thought it, I'm sure." he shot back, chuckling.

"Maybe." She gave him a full blown grin.

"Well let's get back before they send out a search party." He said as they started walking back to the precinct.

"IAB can't get along without you for one lunch break?" She quipped.

"I meant the watchdogs you call your squad." He said, looking at her out of the side of his eyes.

She laughed and shoulder checked him as they fell into step.


End file.
